Attention

Attention, I don’t like it. I never thought that having the attention on me would be something of challenge in my adoption. I would say that it has been necessary to have some attention on us during this time, especially with being so far away from family and friends. I really want to my friends and family to be involved, but sometimes I get so exhausted talking about it over and over again. I have never been one to like attention, I would rather sit back and observe than sit back and be observed. Having a blog about the intimate details of our life, infertility and adoption, isn’t necessarily ideal, but I am beginning to discover that it has become a good oulet for me. Good for many reasons:

  • I don’t have to repeat and re-live emotional details.
  • Readers don’t have to respond unless they want to. I have found that I have had a few instances where people want details and once they get them they don’t know what to do with them. When they don’t know what to say, they say stuff like “it will happen, be patient” and “I have a friend who adopted and as soon as she adopted she got pregnant”. I should do a blog post just about the stuff people say to me when they learn I am adopting.
  • Sometimes I just want to talk without actually talking to someone.

Writing and telling about my adoption and infertility is a great outlet, but it has put a label on my forehead that has said “I am infertile and depressed about it”. Since I have moved to the ABQ, I have tried to rid myself of this label. I think I have, because with every effort, my perspective has changed and now I hope my label says “I am adopting and I can’t wait for our baby!”

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