Bad Week Blogging about…Hope

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This week has been the WORST!!! When does it get better? After this week, my hope is diminished, my hope for a child, my hope for health, and my hope for a stable future. This week started off awesome when Doug and I made an offer on a home here in ABQ, the offer was accepted and we were officially “under contract” to buy our very first home. We were hopeful. With the purchase of this house we could have a yard for Lucy, extra bedrooms for visitors, a place to invest our money, and more importantly the place we would bring home our baby and live for the next several years. We hoped that this house would bring happiness.

A couple of days went by and we got a phone call from our mortgage officer saying that she made some mistakes on our pre-qualifying paperwork and we no longer qualify for the loan. Hope was lost. No yard for Lucy, no extra space, no planting roots, you get the idea.

So, where do I go from here? How do I get it back? To me, hope is little”tender mercies”, if you will, that tell me that it will all work out. I guess I should start paying attention to those tender mercies that point to a successful adoption. The most recent one I can think of is all the donations that we have received to fund our adoption, over $6000! It is so easy to forget our blessings, even such a BIG one as this. All I can do is try harder to recognize them. This will help me to hope, which will be the ease to my pain.

“But that ye have patience, and bear with those afflictions, with a firm HOPE that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions.” -Alma 34:41

 

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2 thoughts on “Bad Week Blogging about…Hope

  1. I don’t know you at all, but stumbled across your blog today. I just wanted to say to hang in there on the adoption front. I know that’s easier said than done. I KNOW what the adoption roller coaster is like and it’s not an easy ride. But, it’s worth it! After doing the infertility thing for 7 years, we turned to adoption. Almost 2 years later, our first baby was born (9+ years after we started trying to have a baby). We were able to adopt another baby 20 months later, and our third baby FINALLY came along nearly 8 years after that. It took us almost 20 years just to have 3 kids. Definitely a long haul, but definitely worth it. We adopted all 3 through LDSFS and adoption has been an absolutel miracle and blessing in our lives. I hope you get that long awaited phone call soon! (: My heart goes out to you! I totally know what it is like to feel like you have zero control over adoption. I know what the hopeless days feel like. And I know what years and years of empty arms feels like. But now that I’m on the other side, I also know what it feels like to have my dreams come true, to truly see God’s hand in the building of our family, and I know that the babies meant for our family are here and came when they were supposed to. Please remember that there is always hope, even when you don’t feel that way. With God, nothing is impossible.

  2. I also found your blog through FMH facebook. After 5 failed IVF’s and 2 failed adoptions we gave up on everything. But, miracles still happen and we were able to adopt an abused 1 year old boy. He is the light of our lives. Good luck and keep up the faith. We had to give up the dream of a baby and realize that we needed to adopt older. That was a hard dream to give up. But, definitely worth it in the end.

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