First Meeting

I promised a post about our first meeting with our birth parents (I still can’t believe I have birth parents!), BUT as I was thinking about what I would write I decided that I won’t be sharing ALL the details of the meeting. I really want to protect the privacy of the birth parents as well as some of the intimate details of our meeting. With that being said, I still want to share some of the highlights. For now, we will be calling our birthparents LaMama and Papa J, you know, for privacy reasons.

  • Our baby is due on Doug’s birthday December 12th, 2014
  • LaMama is BEA-U-TI-FUL, strong-willed, independent, decisive, selfless and easy-going AND she shares the same Zodiac sign as me.
  • Papa J is charismatic, funny, talkative, sensitive, and expressive AND he shares the same Zodiac sign as Doug.
  • Papa J made a joke from Taken (the movie): “I have a very specific set of skills…”
  • They originally wanted to pick a family WITH children, but when they saw our profile they chose us because they said “we want to give you something you have never experienced before”. So sweet.
  • LaMama personally invited me to come to ALL her appointments.

Next Post: Gender Reveal.

“The Call”…revisited

I fear that this post won’t meet the expectations I hyped up with the previous post. Sorry ahead of time.

In one of my previous mentioned scenarios I was in Hawaii when I got the call. My actual scenario matches this one most closely, except I was in Green River, Utah. Before I tell you about our call, I feel I really need to emphasize and illustrate how frequently I look at my phone to make sure I have service, battery life, no missed calls, etc. My phone is literally glued to my hand and my eyes glued to my phone. On a healthy day I would look at it q 5′ (short hand for every five minutes). Back to the story.

On June 16th, 2014, Doug and I were on our way home from my sister Amy’s wedding in Utah (sorry for stealing your thunder Amy) and were just getting off the Crescent Junction exit and had another 45 minutes to Moab. I had just got done looking at my phone for maintenance reasons and guess what? My phone rang! I looked down and what did my caller ID say? “BM caseworker”. (For some reason I didn’t just save her name, which is Colleen. Whenever I see her ID my nursing mind immediately thinks “Bowel Movement Caseworker”. Duh.). I got really nervous and almost asked Doug to answer the phone, almost. BTW, she never calls, so this would explain the excitement I had. This is how the conversation went:

Me: “Hello?”

BM caseworker: “Hi Jenica, How are you?”

Me: (Seriously? Just get down to business.) “Fine.”

BM caseworker: “We still have some paperwork you need to come in and sign, when can you do that?”

Me: (Seriously? I just emailed Amber on Friday to tell you.) “I work tomorrow, so probably Wednesday.”

BM caseworker: “Well, that’s not really why I am calling. You’ve been matched!!!!”

Me: “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

BM caseworker: “Everyone is here and wants to congratulate you, let me put you on speaker phone”, then I hear A LOT of screaming, then it cuts to dead silence.

I lost the call. No service.

Me: “D*@& it!” (I’ve been matched? What does that mean? When is the baby due? Is it a boy or girl? Have they been born already? I gotta get some service.)

So Doug and I continued to Moab in great haste, that’s an understatement, Doug turned into Andretti as he weaved in and out of giant semis and oversized Jeeps. Why can’t they add a couple more lanes of traffic on that stretch? It really is the worst, even when not considering the circumstances.

So we finally get to Moab and get the details. We have been picked by a birth mom…and birth father. In the words of my BM caseworker, the downside is that they aren’t due until December, so MORE waiting. BUT, the reason they wanted to pick a couple so soon was because THEY want ME to go the the doctor appointments with them. My heart melted. Those were really all the details she gave me over the phone, because of the shotty service. Although, we did set up a meeting to meet them two days later.

During our lunch in Moab our (me and Doug) conversation went wild with predictions, fantasies, and guesses of what our baby-to-be and birthparents would be like, as well as what the next few months would entail. What do they look like? What race are they? How old are they? Why are they placing their baby for adoption? Why did they choose us? Will I be able to stop working by December? My next post will be about the first time we met our birthparents. I can’t wait to share it because it really was MORE special than when we got the phone call.

Finally, I just want to share how I feel about sharing all of this so early on even though the end might involve heartbreak. Many of you have friends or family (or even you) who have gone through this process and understand the risks of adoption, the most glaring one: she can change her mind. Whether this adoption is successful or not, I want to look back on this time as celebratory and exciting. I plan to fully embrace and share with you the ups and downs because I know we can’t do this alone. I am so thankful for the support we have received along the way, and we will continue to need it. Please, hang in there with us. Thanks for reading. I mean it.

-Jenica

“The Call”

The biggest source of stress for me as I wait to adopt is my CELL PHONE. Is it charged? Do I have service? Is my voicemail box roomy? Is it on vibrate and in my pocket at work? Are my calls coming through? Do I need to do a test call again? And, if that’s not enough, I imagine various dramatic scenarios of when I finally get “the call” (as called in the adoption world when your caseworker calls you to tell you about your baby for the first time) on my cell phone from our caseworker.

No. 1, I am at work preparing a med in the small med room when my phone vibrates and I see Colleen’s name (our caseworker) on the screen, of course I answer and she tells me that my baby is being born as we speak in the very same hospital I am currently working in.

No. 2, I am on vacation in some tropical location (I dunno, Hawaii?) when I get the call that my baby has already been born, meaning I will have to catch the next flight out of there.

No. 3, My phone is dead or on silent. I miss the call. Colleen has to call Doug, he misses the call. Colleen decides to call another adoptive couple because we were too hard to get a hold of.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) when we finally got our call it didn’t fit any of those scenarios, BUT I will say it was just as dramatic!

Stay tuned so you can hear about “our call”!