One Week & Three Days

*To protect the privacy of our birthparents, in this post I will use “BF” for birthfather and “BM” for birthmother.

Today Sage is one week and three days old. She is so alert for a newborn which I didn’t realize until everyone who sees her says, “She is so alert for a newborn”. When she wakes up to eat she opens her eyes big and gives me plenty of “uninterrupted eye contact” (Baby Mama). I like to think her curiosity comes from BF. The times I have spent with him I have discovered that he is very inquisitive. For example, during BM’s labor, he and I were looking at the fetal monitoring (baby’s heart rate and mom’s contractions) and he quickly learned how to read the graphs and pointed out patterns of BM’s labor progress. I can already tell that Sage has this quality.

I would like to say that our lives have changed drastically because of Sage, it’s changed but like Doug says “doesn’t it just feel normal that we have a baby now?”. It does feel normal. I think all the years of waiting and wanting is the reason it feels normal. We were prepared for Sage. A lot of my friends who have adopted kept telling me along the way “it’s hard now, but it will be worth it when you have that baby in your arms”. At my hardest moments in waiting I never thought that I would say those words BUT in the quiet moments during night feedings my thoughts are “it was worth it”. Sage is our baby and BF and BM are our birthparents. I’m amazed and glad I didn’t give up.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about BF and BM and what they have done for us. There aren’t enough words or ways to thank them. I love to brag to my family and friends about how awesome they are. I even have friends say things to the effect of “I don’t know Sage’s birthmother but I love her”. Here is just a small example of how awesome BM is, during labor and right before she was about to push, she looked at me square in the eyes with confidence and said to me “I want you to be the first one to hold her”. Then shortly after the birth of Sage, and I mean minutes after, everyone was crying and I looked at BM with tears of joy and tears of sadness, and again with confidence she said “BF and I will be OK.” Not only do my friends love her, but I love her too and I hope that one day Sage will love her in the same way.

We love our baby girl so much and can’t imagine life without her, because with her “it’s normal”. This is our new normal:

  • Instead of taking pictures of my dog, I take pictures of Sage; at least 50 a day and try really hard to refrain from posting them all on instagram.
  • Wanting to be near her at all times, whether she is asleep or awake.
  • Doing dishes before bedtime because I will need bottles throughout the night.
  • Thinking we can take our newborn to a movie, but as we are walking out the door she barfs everywhere and we take that as a sign not to go.

***Keep watch for Sage’s birth story in the coming week.


Stay-at-home mom

If it were socially acceptable I would quit my job and become a stay-at-home mom to Lucy (my dog). I would spend my time teaching her commands in German, how to count and read. I would also train her in agility and behavior, and possible how to sniff out….I don’t know, drugs? cell phones? She would totally be the best dog on the block. Obviously, this would be me compensating for not having a kid to teach German, counting, and reading to.

I do hope that when we get a baby I will be able to stay at home with her/him. Especially in the first years. At the same time that I want to stay home, I sometimes think that I should work still, maybe even just a little bit. Lately, I have my days when I cannot wait to quit my job for good to be a mom. But there are other times when I fear that if I stop working, I will forgot all my skills that I will need when I do go back into the workforce. I am sure my expectations will change once the baby is here. I am curious how my friends feel about this.